Email From June Dedeke

June,

To stop fighting: If someone knowingly caused you and your children irreparable harm and forced upon them the suffering that you’ve unleashed upon us (and continue to do so), would you stop fighting? Certainly not. You’d be a terrible mother and a coward for doing so. Think for a moment if you will, and possibly for the first time, from our perspective:

You deliberately brought about the worst injustice ever committed against our family. You intentionally kept us from ever getting to say goodbye to Grandpa and then tried to keep us from coming to the funeral (at which Dad and I were the only family members to say some words of respect). Then, neither you or Gene had the decency to face us and look us in the eye as you stabbed this knife into our throats. You holed-up like rats as we drove off on that freezing night, Dec 23, 2005, never to see the home-place again and let Bump do your dirty work. Shame! That all of this actually happened is still unimaginable, but it did actually happen! This can be forgiven, but never fully rectified. But “it is what it is” right?

Add to this that at the same time you were also stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from us (money which existed solely because of Dad and Grandpas partnership; this is undeniable and you all know it) and  by doing so - blatantly refused to honor the wishes of your dying father and your mother as well. Again, completely unbelievable, but this actually happened. How you can live with yourself is a question I have often pondered, but after seeing the income you receive as a result of your theft, it’s not too hard to figure out. If the teachings of Christ ever held any weight with you, then your resentment, revenge and Dad's money clearly held more. Each check you each receive is 1/4 blood money.

Whether you revel in this or feel sympathy, I care not, but know the lasting monetary effects of your thievery has caused us an unspeakable hardship. To watch my father all but destroy himself to right your wrong, to watch my entire family struggle to even pay bills, grow increasingly deeper in debt and to have the kids deprived of their chance for a college education is unbearable. Remember and remember well June, I was forced out of college by your actions and, though rich I am in blessings and friends, I still live on scraps as far as money is concerned. Before this I held a solid 4.0 GPA for seven straight semesters - afterward there were no more semesters. Javae and Phaedra are 20 now & ready to start college, but with what does Dad have to send them there?  To have his children’s' lives be so diminished by your actions and then be told to be silent about it is absurd and cruel.

I’m well aware that, as you said, “life is what it is” and that “you need to enjoy what you have” and we do just that every day. We listened to Grandma, we count our blessings, that’s for certain. But what's bloodcurdling about you saying “enjoy what you have”, is that (coming from you) it’s just like being told by one's rapist: “be happy that you’re still alive.” Shame! This comment reveals that you are a deeply disturbed individual who is either completely ignorant of or incapable of any degree of Introspection whatsoever.

"Introspection: observation or examination of one's own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself."

I know that you and Dad have had your differences, both big and small, but for you to take these out on his children, to steal from us what has always been (and will always be) rightfully ours, to knowingly deprive from us our family and the closure of being able to say farewell to our grandfather (forever), to cheat us out of the chance for an education and to force us to live with, every day, the question of how things might have been had you not betrayed us  - when we never did anything to you to deserve such venom in our lives - this is an injustice Dad will continue to fight as long as there is air in his lungs. Even against my protests. I have come not just to accept that but to admire it, that he would do that for us.

When he is gone, this injustice will remain, like the ghost-pains of a severed limb, it will linger in our hearts. You have wounded us deeply and we were innocent. You have wounded me deeply and I was innocent. You destroyed the family and for what? Shame will be yours forever while you remain on the cowards path.

Take a look inside the good book (which as I remember you once highly venerated) but truly read it this time, thoughtfully and self-critically. Look closely at Christ; his life and good works; his message of peace, compassion, forgiveness and fairness. And then ask yourself: "Am I anything like this? Is my husband anything like this? Have my actions towards my brother and his children been anything like this?" If you find that you can still justify your actions and your rage then you are either an unwitting servant of Satan or severely mentally Ill.

I do not mean this hatefully, I swear it, I hold that I will never hate you nor wish any ill upon you and yours. I have learned to forgive and forgiven you I have. Ironically, you and Gene helped teach me not to hate - by being a perfect example of what I never want to become - and for this you will ever have my gratitude. But I worry for you and your soul (and I'm not even religious). You have a chance today & every day from now until your death, (may it be many years from now) to rectify some of the hurt, the hate and the murder of opportunity you have committed against me and my siblings. It is not too late do the right thing, at long last, to take the path of absolution for the sake of your own soul if not ours.

It is, and has been for five years now, You, Jack and Bump who have the power to put an end to the fighting. Have the simple human decency to return Dad’s property, my property, our property and fulfill the oath that you all made to your parents. For in the end, what is a person worth, but their word?

Love,

Adam

P.S.

Merry Christmas to my entire long lost family.